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The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 457
Production Info Intro OJ Stays In Vegas * Dr. Colbert begins the show with various shout-outs to members of the Mob * How could OJ be found guilty of kidnapping and armed robbery ** the police are always framing him * The Juice if a close personal friend (Stephen calls him "Juicey") ** golf buddy ** wing man * he went to jail on purpose to hunt for the real killers inside ** he's exhausted every avenue (or fairway) * Dr. Colbert had the floor plans to OJ's jail on his back ** and worked on his obliques ** Dr. Colbert shot an audience member in the other leg in order to get jailed *** asked OJ not to pick a wife yet--he's on the way! VP Debate * Palin showed she can speak * Biden showed he can stop speaking * instead of getting bogged down on specifics, she Tonight's Word Maverick Without A Cause * liberals are always trying to look backwards for a cause ** Biden showed how sexist he is by saying global-warming is man-made * snow mobile trips are like mowing one's lawn for 500 miles * "causes" are our country's greatest enemy ** Biden tries to understand them * McCain wants to ignore what caused the Iraq * Dr. Colbert wants to live in a world without cause and effect ** life will be an endless stream of surprises and we will be like three-year-olds America's Economy * America is in an all-pickle economy ** after $700 billion ** Brad Sherman said Congress has shot her wad Un-American News * Financial Edition * Russia ** Prime Minister Vlad Putin *** Secret Russian President * German Finance Minister ** Steinbruck ( does the u in his name have an umlatt, or his tiny balls) * America is like Paul McCartney * we did such a great job in our earlier work that we can be forgiven for all the later crap we make now * France said laissez faire ** French gay women's street festival * Hugo Chavez * compared America's financial crisis to an elephant sinking in a pool # a monkey in a bathtub # an elephant sinking in a pool # giraffe sleeping in a jacuzzi # gazelle standing in a bucket of water changing a light bulb * Brazil's Da Silva ** compared America's economy to a casino Interview * Jim Cramer * hopefully he can scream a solution to our economy * said he feels good about the market * likes the roller coaster of a volatile market ** wears a dramamine patch behind his ear before going to work * his prediction from a year ago may have been too subtle ** he know thinks his ATM won't dispense cash * How it's Bill Clinton's fault ** said it cannot be blamed on the Bush Administration * lots of blame to go around ** Democrats wanted Fannie to loan to anybody ** GOP wanted everyone to own a house *** or one person (John McCain) can own them all * the market is a ground hog ** saw it's own shadow * is this another Depression ** invest in fedoras and bread crust ** Campbell's ** Heinz ** Kellog's * can you trust your money in a bank ** yes FDIC was raised to $250k * What about gold? ** English actors advice gold *** they pay Cramer's rent, so he's behind them! Epilogue * time for one more Stephen Colbert Life Drawing Lesson Gallery Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Motherload Videos External Tubes *Link Title *Link Title Reviews and Comments